Ribbons & Champagne : Reclaiming girlhood as an adult

By Alexis Shoats

Girlhood looks different for each of us. White, Black, and Brown little girls share different experiences however the nature and idea of girlhood holds similarities and these experiences are ours to own. The bows, barrettes, 3-strand braids, and ponytail holders (or Bobo’s). I distinctly remember getting my hair done every morning before school, my mom would use Live and alternante a few styles a week. Some girls wore headbands, braids, ponytails, and more. 

At school, we were able to be whoever we wanted. We were different characters or wore whatever outfit we picked out, despite strong suggestions and input from our parents. We would beat boys in handball or play slide baby on the playground until our hands were red. We also participated in out-of-school activities such as ballet, gymnastics, sports, and lessons for various instruments. However, some of us were naturally introverted and spent countless hours in the library or kept our hands in paint as we chased our creative passion projects. Myself included, sketching and drawing on whatever paper we could get our hands on. Then somewhere between the ages of 10 and 13, we all had our awkward phase, whether braces, intro to acne, or worse, our first crushes.

" We were allowed to indulge in the sweeter things in life and explore our curiosities.

However, things began changing. Subtle undertones and phrases from

childhood began to hold more depth, meaning, and expectation. "

Helping take care of the house, always leaving the house presentable, ensuring we had a date to any major school dance, and caring about likability. We were no longer these innocent little girls although for boys, boyhood lasts well into the teenage years. We were now being prepped to be ambitious yet wife-material young girls. To cater to those around us, and even though society tells us women have come such a long way in our fight for equality and rights we’re still begging for basic human rights. Rights such as access to proper reproductive healthcare, equal pay, and what some might call the little things like paid time off during menstruation as well as tax-free access to menstruation products. The bottom line is, girls are thrown into womanhood with little to no transition and it has been this way for hundreds of years. Women marrying once they can conceive, pressure on women to produce a male heir, women putting their dreams on the back burner for an ambitious spouse, and if we fast forward to the present day the debate on whether women should make more than their spouse or have children on their own. Women are tired. 

So, last year thanks to a viral trend women claimed the phrase “I’m just a girl” leaving many to wonder about the meaning. We still do not truly know a year later, but trends will show that it is a way for women to reclaim their girlhood and expectations for themselves. Women across TikTok and off the platform leaned back into this through bows, friend dates, music that describes the challenges women face (as well as music that helps us forget temporarily), and so much more. When we say “I'm just a girl” we extend grace to ourselves. We recognize how we have been trained and how our lives have been meticulously planned. However, we throw those thoughts out the door and bask in being just a girl.